Life is hard.
At 22, my life was heading somewhere I didn’t want it to go.
Recovery changed that direction. It didn’t fix everything. In some ways, it was only the beginning of understanding how much work I still had to do.
I’ve made mistakes. Some big ones. I’ve struggled with addiction, mental health, my own emotions and the way I see myself.
And through all of it, I’ve kept trying to understand why I feel the way I do, why I make the decisions I make, and how I might do things differently.
I’ve spent years developing ways of thinking, little sayings and frameworks to help me navigate life.
Not because I’ve figured it all out.
Because I haven’t.
Life is hard. No one is going to do it for you. So just don’t quit.
Give him the messy problem.
That’s me at work. And, thinking about it, probably me in life too.
I’m a delivery leader. Give me something complicated, unclear, broken or unfamiliar and I’ll want to understand it.
I ask questions to help paint a picture of what’s happening, so I can understand the situation.
I don’t particularly care whether the answer fits a recognised methodology. I care whether it works.
My dyslexia has influenced the way I learn and communicate. I’ve had to develop my own ways of understanding things, making complexity visible and finding a path through it.
I’m not always patient with myself. I can get frustrated, emotional and bloody grumpy when something isn’t working.
But I’ll take a breath. Sometimes I’ll walk away for a bit. And then I come back.
I ask another question.
I look for the other way.
And I keep going.
Why the bear?
Why not?
He’s looking back over his shoulder because where he’s been matters.
The good, the bad, the mistakes and the lessons. They’re part of him.
But he’s not standing still, staring at the past, or running away from it.
He’s moving forward.
That’s what I try to do.
I don’t always feel strong. I don’t always feel confident. Sometimes I struggle just to accept myself as I am.
But strength isn’t about never struggling.
Sometimes it’s simply about getting through another day, doing what you can, and not giving up.
The bear is the symbol. I’m the person behind him.
Because I Can.
Cos Can brings together different parts of my life.
Consulting — I love a messy problem, helping people and getting things delivered.
Cashflow — Fifteen years of working out how to manage my own money became something I could build and share.
Shirts — Messages I’ve lived by, printed on something you can wear. Strength for the body. Words for the mind.
Research — My curiosity about history, humanity, consciousness, AI and the big questions I can’t leave alone.
My story — Recovery, dyslexia, mental health, resilience, kindness and the sometimes messy reality of being human.
They’re things I’ve done, built, explored and lived.
Why share any of this?
I’m not sharing my story because I think I have the answers.
I’m sharing it because some of the things I’ve learned might help someone else.
I know what it’s like to struggle quietly.
I know what it’s like to be hard on yourself, to question your worth, and to keep going anyway.
I also know that a little kindness, a different perspective, or someone simply believing in you can make an enormous difference.
Maybe something I’ve built will be useful.
Maybe a question I’ve asked will make someone think.
Maybe a shirt will remind somebody to keep going.
And maybe someone will recognise a little of themselves in my story.
That’s enough reason for me to share it.
COS CAN. BECAUSE I CAN.
The Home of the Bear.